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Boundaries-Client Who Thinks I Am Their Best Friend
Posted by on 2020-11-14 at 2:00 AM
What do you do with a client who has a session and then thinks we are friends and they can text and call regularly to share their life and get advice? I’ve tried to text that I’m out, I’m with a family member, etc. It does not matter. The last time I picked up my phone I had 11 texts from this client. I’ve never had such an odd situation with a client.
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6 Replies
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OMG, sorry for your experience. I had clients like that – but not THAT BAD. Email them explaining that you are a practitioner and not a personal friend, and BLOCK THEM
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Same as Irina. I had clients acting the same but as bas as yours… !I would also write an email, try ot find the best words and stay profesionnal. I mean don’t speak of your personnal emotions, just be factual or the person will want to answer you and talk on an emotionnal level, as friends, or it’ll want to take advantage on your flaws in someway.
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Suggest that they reserve an appointment so you can schedule time together to chat. Explain that you would love to give her feedback on her texts but need her to understand that as a practitioner, the communications are best done in a professional setting.
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This is an interesting dilemna and one that begs a deeper understanding of the dynamics involved. I haven’t had this particular challenge yet, but I do, on occasion stay in touch with a client (mainly answering emails.) I like Christine’s suggestion as well as wondering what are professional boundaries, how do you set them and when has the line been crossed?
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Han TenDam in his book, Deep Healing and Transformation, page 80. I thought his advice is helpful, it does mirror the advice here already:))
“Sometimes your client wants to tell you all about their experience, about the connections with the present life and what they all feel, but the time is up. Or people come at the last minute with a new idea, new pain or another problem. Mostly because they don’t want to let go of you. Be friendly, but firm. Tell them to allow themselves some time to perpetuate the process after the session. Recognise the pain, complaint or idea and tell them to stay with it until the next session. Tell them to write down what they just have told you, so that you both remember this at the next session. Suggest the client to take a walk or make a cup of tea so that the process can percolate a bit longer. Suggest that they can write down everything else that comes to mind. Suggest that they can tell more about this next time if they want to.
Usually, they don’t.”
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Eeek. No, never had that before. Best thing to do is say: please email me, I am not at phone to reply to messages. I will get back to you at the earliest convenience. Then that way things stay professional.
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