Can't always get what you want—but you get what you need

Can’t always get what you want‚ but you get what you need

Metaphysical Musings

By Christina Lavers

One of the aspects that make BQH sessions unique is that there is no formula or framework for how the process unfolds. This means that each session can progress in a unique flow that perfectly aligns with the client’s needs.

In preparation for these journeys the client and I work out the essence of their desires, then we create a focused intention to act as a guidepost to ensure the experience is aligned with their aims. This is the part of the session where the client has the ability to clearly state what they hope to achieve in the session. Beyond this step I encourage people to let go of any and all expectations around how the journey will look or unfold.

The majority of the time though the journey is full of surprises and unexpected insight and even themes; it is easy to see how the content aligns with the client’s intention.

However, over the years I have encountered a few sessions which at first glance seem to not align with their desire but come from a deeper perspective, giving the client exactly what they needed.

For example, a couple of weeks ago I had a client who had very clear ideas of what she hoped to get out of her session. She wanted to have a deeper and more direct connection to her higher-self. She hoped her higher-self would give her some guidance as to what she needed to do to have a clear and obvious connection.

After the induction she told me she felt she wasn’t deep enough. I did a further deepening and encouraged her to trust the process, to just allow whatever needed to come through. Still feeling physically focused after the deepening, I asked her to scan her being and just share what she noticed. She was immediately aware of a tightness in her shoulders, as though she was bracing for something. I asked her to breathe into this tightness, as a physical sensation can act as bridge leading us to the energy beneath that needs healing.

As she used her breath to focus her awareness on the tightness, she was faced with a child version of herself. She recalled how as a young child she had been relentlessly tormented by her older brothers. The dynamic between her and her older siblings meant she had to always have her guard up in preparation for a surprise attack. The more she focused on this little girl, the more she understood the trauma carried by this little version of herself. This part believed, not only that attack was always imminent, she also believed that the rage she held in around the extreme situation was so strong that if she let it out it would destroy EVERYTHING. This state of ongoing defence against incoming and outgoing energies left her completely frozen.

When the adult part of her tried to focus love on the child part, hoping for a softening, she was met with a detached feeling of … ‘too little, too late’ from the child part.

This is something I see a lot when people connect with a wounded inner child aspect. These parts have spent so long feeling abandoned and neglected that when the adult self finally pays attention they remain guarded and wary. It can take time to rebuild the trust of a wounded child part.

At this point in the session there was a sense of frustration as though there was no way forward. I asked if it felt right to create a special space for this child within the infinite sanctuary of her heart. With those words there was a dramatic shift in the energy. “Yes!” she exclaimed, “That feels really right.” When the child was safely enveloped in her own infinite space within the heart the client reported that for the first time this wounded child aspect felt she could relax a little bit.

When wounded child aspects appear in sessions for healing I recommend that the client set an alarm that will go off every day to remind them to take a few minutes to connect with the child. This small commitment can yield huge results because it demonstrates to the child part that they are not going to be forgotten again. The trust will build, until eventually enough softening and opening occurs that the child is ready to be fully reintegrated. Once integrated these returned aspects become integral parts of the internal team, instead of working in the background to sabotage and block.

When the client returned to everyday awareness there was some sense of disappointment at not having had a cosmic level journey, but, she could see how it was impossible for her to fully let go and open to the experience while this child part of her remained in a state of hyper vigilance. Relaxation and openness are keys to accessing the wisdom of the higher realms. This traumatised child needed to be seen and healed before the client would be able to reach the heights she hoped to attain. So while she didn’t get to dialogue directly with her higher self, the session gave her the opportunity to take a crucial step that will ultimately clear the way for the connection. 


Christina Lavers is a BQH practitioner, located in Upper Orara, NSW, Australia. She is devoted to assisting people to find and connect with their own creative magical current that flows deep within. “As more of us learn to live our life in alignment with our hearts, the more love will be flowing around the planet. Our world urgently needs more love!”

To discover more about Christina’s practice please visit her Website:

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